school is starting.. it feels really horrible and i really really dread it. nothing to look forward to.. and the feeling of loneliness really sucks like nth else :(

the ppl giving out the orientation wk forms ytd was like asking "do you have anyone to go oweek with?" and it just felt so sad to say a 'no'. guess its pretty unusual that ppl go for oweek alone then, by what she said.

im going for my registration tmr. it just feels as though once i get my student card tmr, thats it.. thats the rest of my life already.. and no, its not how i wanted my life to be.. perhaps i am stuborn, but all along, ive only envisioned my life to be that way and nothing else. and no, im still not ready to let go and accept sth else. i wont settle for 2nd choice so easily.. but perhaps i dont even have a choice now. we can talk about next year, but life is too full of uncertainty to even hope now. i dont even know what i'll be once i graduate and come out to work. my heart tells me to pursue my dreams whatever it takes... but my head tells me it might nt be the best choice.

if all things happen for a reason, i do want to know why so many things have happened. sadly, i'll only get to know the reason years later. if there even exists one.