i just submitted my appeal.. gosh it's scary. meanwhile i'm still deciding whether to accept sth in the meantime :(

gosh may i please please PLEASE have a successful appeal. PLEASEEEEEE :(

i went for my psc interview just now! went with a happy-go-lucky attitude, considering that i don't want the scholarship as badly compared to others. so i actually found it quite fun! hahaha. only 2 of the 12 interviewers asked me qns. haha. and it was super fun, super high, very adrenaline (epinephrine!) pumping to rebut their attempts to shoot me down. HOHO. and there was a guy outside the building cleaning the windows. and i was the only one who could see him. it was quite a funny sight in a way heh.

hmm.. what is soverign foreign wealth though?? that was the onli thing i din know...

alright and to the joke 1 of the day:
Rat asks Pig, "if you could have a conversation with one person, living or dead, who would you choose?"
Pg answers, "the living one".

joke 2 of the day: (after telling a certain woman joke 1)
woman (you know who you are! :P): har whats the joke???
me: read again and figure out yourself!!!
(15 mins later...)
woman: tell me the joke PLEASE!!!
me: (explains the joke)
woman: oh no, i would have answered it the same way as Pig!

so now we see why she didn't get the joke...

was trying to figure out how to play the song when i came across this nice video. he is seriously talented.. coming up with so many songs people actually remember. and they're meaningful too. and his live singing is just like in his album.



tho i have to say he looks kinda funny doing his 'tribal dance' while singing. maybe he cant dance..

may 30th is coming.. i still don't think my appeal makes enough of an impact.. it's like. hitting the wood all over the nail but hasnt hit the head. :(

i'm finally like, healthier after 2 weeks of battling with cough, fever, runny nose..

i'm getting weird :(

hmm.. 30may is coming. i'm so screwed for my interview ive been procrastinating about mugging for it. argh! and gss is here.. wkday is perfect for unemployed ppl like me to shop..

and yes 30 may is coming where i'll have my last (?) hope......

ohwell.

today was a depressing? and thought provoking day. sigh.. why cant things be kept simple like tv :(

ohwell. but i like it when we talk about what's on our minds :)

.. i need a miracle :(

___________________

ahwells. anw i went to the library ytd and witnessed an exciting incident of a youth chasing an uncle ard threatening to call the police. the uncle's crime: taking upskirt pictures of a lady. wth he shld totally be jailed. hm and that youth was brave.

... sigh :(

don't really know how to write the appeal. 1000 char..

and seriously the chance is so so slim.

:(

i got a horrible piece of news on my birthday. my worst birthday, my worst present.. it seriously sucks and i was like, depressed for 2 days. luckily, i feel better today :)

it's horrible because i've worked so hard for it (since PSLE!!!!!!) only to fall at the last step.. it also means dreams dashed. which sucks. i shall not watch medical dramas for some time now. (but i cant resist the allure of House..)

sigh.

but now, i'm just refusing to admit that it has been a good news in disguise. really. but just refusing to admit because i still have a small hope of making it. i'm gonna APPEAL. and yes, its good news because i got alot of love in return (some from people i didnt really expect!) and i'm so thankful for that :)

guess thats still a good birthday present :)

and i figured. it's never too late, never too difficult to achieve sth i want as long as i want it badly enough. there are many opportunities around. that i have the luxury to think about it after my undergrad studies.

that i shall see. for now, i'm gonna give it one last shot and i hope i have the chance to do that.

(oh my i sound optimistic!! haha)

cheered up already :D

rice: booo you lucky girl :(

____________

oh, where art thou??

sigh. anw i discovered a new cartoonist whose comics i quite like, go read pearls before swine!





and i saw this funny videos:





house is coming on channel5 soon!

anw. my phone is quiet.....

argh!!! come home!!!!! :'(

sigh sometimes i want to change things, but i just don't have the ability to. and it sucks :(

for example, i really feel so sorry for the cyclone victims. not because no one is helping them, but because some higher authority has to be stubborn and unreasonable, and busy themselves with things like a referendum (which really, is inconsequential anyway) instead of saving the people dead, homeless, and dying from things like cholera and malaria. it disgusts me ugh.

and after a bad bad night last night, i've made it a personal resolution to control my emotions and argue with people (or at least express how freaking pissed i am) without breaking down in tears.

sigh. what a long, long week this is becoming.

________________

hm just saw this on the net:

Love is that condition in which
The happiness of another person
Is essential to your own.

- Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

no idea who's robert a. heinlein, but how true.

ah wells. its another.. 3 days? :(

i think things get worse actually, when im out. like ytd i went to my sis' wedding gown fitting (the best time of a lady's life??? very very happy for her, and very envious :D) but the main thing was it was quite emo going out. so rotting on the sofa at home watching house/csi/random tv/hk dramas is better?

argh i dunno :(

and i cant wait for the temporary relief of the :( ness.

coming soon..

i had my medicine interview today! its so surreal how the interview ended so fast.. and my future is probably sealed. gosh :(

anw, the interviewers were all v nice, except for one evil doctor in round 2 who was being bored and sleepy and unfriendly :( boooooooo. anw i think the round 2 interview is a waste of resources!!!! ohwells.

i await the good news (:

friday coming le :(

helloooo. it feels good not to go to work on a monday morning (:

i'm currently mugging for my interview. ahhh its on wed. 2 days! the last step! ahhhh! scary scary :(

otherwise, the wkend was very very good (: nice long chat where i got counselled (haha!), quality (and quantity this time) time.. then sleepover! :D which was so fun hehe. try charading 'harold and kumar escape to guatanamo bay' :P

ahh.
but there's 15 days to go.. :(

but i'm not emo no more!

i meant to blog about this on tuesday but i didnt have the time to. and i dont feel that good today. sigh.

well firstly im feeling moody for no reason, im sick, the weather's horrible, and its a PH and im at home :(

then liverpool lost to chelsea. WHY DID HE TAKE TORRES OFF? why why why??? it was so heartbreaking to see gerrard, torres looking so helpless. but well.. i have to say the scene of lampard tributing his goal to his late mum was really touching.

sigh.



alright i shall talk about the feel good stuff then.

i went for my interview with the psychologist on tuesday. it made me feel good. she (the psychologist) told me what she observed about me that i didn't even know about. i learnt more about myself in those 3hours, and i was qt surprised that she seemed impressed that i'm "very mature for someone your (my) age" (i am???). she pointed out alot of stuff about myself e.g. i think alot. [but then again thinking so much might not be good (cue emo me)] and she was just this very nice person who made me feel comfortable speaking abt such stuff.

oh she asked me whats the biggest change i've had these 2 years.

i dont think anyone would know it, but it's being alot less introverted (tho i still noticeably am). i never really noticed this change. and now that i've realised it, i really want to thank all the friends who've shared stuff with me, encouraged me to speak up, and who've listened to me. you guys have brought about this positive change in me (:

at the end of the interview, i felt happy.

and to rice: another feel good thing was knowing that im not alone in this world. haha. theres still someone to lean on for support even in the face of this rather serious problem we're both facing. sigh.

and im finally unemployed! i seriously need this break. and i was damn happy on my last day. but actually at the end of the day when i said bye to everyone, i did have this tinge of sadness :( i really love my colleagues and i've been really lucky to have been with them, cos i hear bad stories abt their colleagues from my friends. our HR dept is small and close-knit, and i was quite glad that some of them were more than colleagues; they were like my friends :)

im quite sure i'll go back to visit them soon, and have my favourite curry chicken/prawn noodles at tiong bahru market during lunchtime with them (: and show them what i did with the book voucher they gave me :D




talking about feel-good stuff makes me happy, but im still moody SIGH :(