finally, the blocks are over. (okay i still have physics paper 3 but im not really concerned with that.)

my mum complained that i lost weight and that i shldnt study so hard. -.- its nt a bad thing i think i gained back the weight with the junk i ate this week. my jaw does look sharper though and im quite happy with that haha. actually my eyes feel tired now.

so, physically and mentally tired = burnout??

dunno. there has been ALOT on my mind these few days. it sucks. almost every night, i cannot get to sleep because im thinking about things. even when im in a good mood (like today after my paper), i start thinking about all these things and then the world ard me just seems to darken. then i get moody and all. and life's too short to be spent being un-nice to the people you love so i felt kinda bad i was so moody towards my mum. argh.

i guess i really kept everything in me until just now, i just teared cos i cldnt take it anymore. it was only a few seconds. strangely, after that i felt alot better. its as if i released my pent up frustrations in those drops of tears. my heart felt alot better as if some weight has been taken off it, or ive let go of something.

i guess this week hasnt been a good one for me. maybe its the block tests but since when did i really care about blocks. its just a week of frustrations, fatigue, misunderstandings?, annoyance...

i just hope that next week will be a better one. it'll start with tmr, when i'll go on retail therapy (guitar stuff, cds, books) and for the aus vs sg match. hopefully i'll see more smiles on my face.

after all, thinking doesnt solve problems.

sigh.

夕阳无限好, 只是近黄昏
i like this phrase :)

hello :)

it's wednesday! halfway through the blocks after which i guess schoolwork's gna go at breakneck pace.

anw i cldnt slp some nights ago cos i was up thinking about stuff -.-

then i concluded that i'm 18 but definitely dont feel like one, that sometimes i really hate how introverted i am, that im really a mummy's girl beneath my (i would consider myself) independent exterior, and that mums are psychic.

yupp :) but think or dont think, you walk down the same road more or less so yea i shld stop troubling myself with these kinda things. :)

hello :)

i wanted to blog but i was too lazy too.

anw, attended jess' sis' wedding last saturday! :) it was one of the most touching, sweet and beautiful things ive witnessed :) and it really inspired me. as in i cant wait to attend my friends' weddings :D (not as in i cant wait to get married -.-)

anw the priest talked about love and all during the homily(?). and what he said was really interesting and true in some sense.. only rmb bits and pieces. adam and eve, what it means when you love someone...

and there is this reading from the first letter of st.paul to the corinthians, 12:31-13:8

if i have all the eloquence of men or of angels, but speak without love, i am simply a gong booming or a cymbal clashing. if i have the gift of prophecy, understanding all the mysteries there are, and knowing everything, and if i have faith in all its fullness, to move mountains, but without love, then i am nothing at all. if i give away all that i possess, piece by piece, and if i even let them take my body to burn it, but am without love, it will do me no good whatever.

love is always patient and kind;
it is never jealous;
love is never boastful or conceited;
it is never rude or selfish;
it does not take offence, and is not resentful.
love takes no pleasure in other people's sins but delights in the truth;
it is always ready to excuse,
to trust, to hope,
and to endure whatever come.

love does not come to an end.

i life this reading cos we are nothing without love.. and love takes so many forms and sometimes we do take it for granted.

i love everyone in my life :)

10 days left and counting..

somehow this one month has passed very fast and i wish i had more time to mug. (ohmy did i just say that!) feels as if blocks are coming tmr. (luckily it isnt)

ohwells the final aim's still the A's and ive got ard 4 mths to mug all i wan to.

actually life after council does nothing but gives you so much time to focus on studies. hmm. good when i need this time, bad and boring when i dont want this time.

gonna make the most out of these 10days..

:)

omg i dunno whats keeping me sane.

physics is making me deranged. i just spent the last 3hrs doing gravitation. i suck at it totally ROARRRRR.

i really have no idea why i took trip science, and DIDNT drop physics. look what ive gotten myself into.

roskgndjvmegsdvx.

okay neverrrmind. i have to stick with it anw. :)

i shld slp soon cos i slept at 3 last night. stayed up doing things like reading my diary and thinking. actually i love doing these. :D

okay la tmr gg out cannot be a panda.

nice pictures :)


I LOVE SMALL BOYS and he's damn cute!!! (esp with the oversized board) :)


oogle oogle XD

ohgosh i havent been online in a long while (again!) been working hard and studying (though guiltily, i watched 3eps of hk drama just now. found sth new to watch1 :D) i went to do p&c and got abit high :D

anw, im kinda looking forward to citygaters' bbq at yenshan's hse on sunday. time to take a good break. and maybe visit the amkhub/huge shopping centre ive been wanting to visit :D i wan to SHOP!!!!

ohno n im oogling at shuaige now (fung!) and im excited again!! <-- sounds so perv haha.

okay i got to go slp. this is a boring entry.

i was just thinking, what do very very rich people really get out of their lives?

i read the newpaper today and there was this indian trillionaire (worth 41.7billion usd) buidling some 60storey complex which costs abt usd1.5billion for him and his family (5 ppl in a 60 storey bldg). i mean, whats the use of it? you dont nid some very huge building to show your wealth. in the first place, wealth does not mean money. not for me at least. imagine if he donated even like 10% of his wealth. its enough for the sustenance of many people in his own country for like a few years. then you wont see starving people in india.. who worry about basic things like having a roof over their heads. and on the other end of the economic scale, you have someone who lives in a 60storey building. wth.

then im strongly against the taitai lifestyle. like seriously, i dont want to spend my life doing these: 1. playin mahjong everyday 2. idling at home living on my husband's money 3. spending lavishly on jewellery, branded stuffs 4. hanging out with other taitais 5. nt knowing how to do basic chores

i strongly believe in reaping what i sow. it is only when u have put in the effort into doing something that you will taste the happiness of success. so i want to work for what i enjoy and not ask for money to indulge.

money is not everything

to put it in a cliched way, money can buy you things you'll be happy to have BUT money cannot buy you:
- family
- true friends
- time
- staisfaction in life
- love of all kinds
- health
- memories
and many more i cant think off my hand now.

i would rather die having spent my best moments with my loved ones and having all the memories which bring a smile to my face, rather than be buried with money. life should be spent meaningfully..

and i want to lead a meaningful life.

.. but why cant life be simpler???

ohwells. just some random thoughts i have against materialism.


ps: i tink ocip africa (zambia) is really cool. i wish i had the chance to go! but ohwells wendy told me the tchers fr nongkhai replied her mail and they said the kids miss us. that really brings a smile to my face, cos i miss them so much too :)